Falling for Fall

I am so happy right now in this time of my life. Happy with our family of three, happy with where we live, happy that I'm able to go to school and am close to getting into a nursing program, happy with our new bible study group, and happy that it's fall! 

At the moment Sawyer is down for a nap, I just finished making mashed butternut squash and dark chocolate hot chocolate (YUM!), the last load of laundry is going and Taylor Swift is playing. Yep, pretty sure it's impossible to be unhappy while listening to Taylor Swift. Unless of course it's Valentines day and you are sitting in a tub crying while listening to one of her sad songs. Ummmmm...not that I've ever done that before or anything. Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, super happy and so looking forward to a few things coming up: Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Sawyer's 2nd birthday!  I love that he is born in October, which was already my favorite month to begin with, but now it is even more so. We are taking him on the Horseshoe Bend train to go pick out pumpkins. I envision it being a perfect autumn day where its cool enough to have to break out the jackets in the closet and we can look at all the leaves changing colors as we zip by on the train. 

I can't help it, but I am swooning over Fall! It's been over five years since I've lived in a place with an actual fall season. Utah had a beyond beautiful autumn season, but Idaho comes in a close second. I am bursting at the seams to start wearing leggings, boots, sweaters and jackets and begin making every pumpkin recipe possible! Last year at this time I was obsessed with making Pumpkin Cinnamon Latte's, but I may have overdone it on those which means I need a new warm holiday drink recipe (hint, hint Ashley!). 

I made these Baked Apples the other day from Rookie Cookie's recipe blog. Wow! How have I never had these before?? I've officially declared them a new holiday tradition in our house. 

Did I mention how much I love this little man? He had a few weeks of indescribable tantrum throwing where I thought I was going to lose it, but then those moments of "You make me so mad I could scream" are then replaced with the "I love you so much I just want to squeeze you" when he does something cute a little while later. Having only one child has opened my eyes to the amount of patience and perseverance you need to be a parent.
Buckets of it.
 I'm not a perfect parent by a long shot and have lost my patience numerous times, something I am constantly working on. When we were camping and I was trying to lay Sawyer down for a nap, without even the slightest success, I was nearly at my breaking point when Matt came into the tent to relieve me. I went over to where my mom, Grandma, Aunt Linda and sister were all sitting and as soon as I sat down just broke down in tears about how I felt like I was such a horrible parent. Next thing I know my mom and my sister Megan (who is pregnant with her first) are bawling right along with me! It turned into a huge cry fest and soon we were laughing through our tears at how ridiculous we must look! All I wanted to know was this: why was I having such a hard time with a not even two-year-old when I have friends who have 3 and 4 kids whose postings on their blogs or Facebook make it sounds like their lives are all rainbows and sunshine everyday?
Unanimously, everyone said "They're lying!"
Phew, what a relief! It would be so much nicer if everyone would be open and honest about the struggles of parenthood instead of masking them. It seems to me the people who make it sound like their lives are perfect usually have the bigger problems to hide. With that being said, it blows my mind how many people have numerous children when they are not fit to be parents in the first place. For my Human Growth & Development class I had to read a few chapters on child abuse and it was heartbreaking. I realize working in a hospital I will have to be on the look out for signs of child abuse so it's crucial to be able to recognize the signs because its devastating how often it happens and yet goes unreported. For another class we have to do a sociology project outside the classroom so I'm going to be visiting the "Women's and Children's Alliance" in downtown Boise and then hopefully volunteering there. They help women and children in the area who are victims of abuse and provide shelter for them, education and counseling, and have been doing that for over 100 years now. I am preparing myself that it will most likely be an emotionally disturbing experience when I see the faces of the women and children there and hear their stories, but stepping out of my comfort zone is the first step I need to take to be able to make a difference. 

As far as life lately, we have been enjoying the brisk cold that's been moving in during the evening and lasting 'til morning and then the sun shining in the afternoons. We've experience our first sickness of the season, well Sawyer has anyway, by some miracle Matt and I escaped getting his cold. He's feeling better now and just in time to play with his cousin Jett who is coming to visit this week. We have plans of taking them to the indoor play place Jabberz in Nampa, possibly the zoo and I'm sure there will be lots of playing with trains and tractors together. To ensure we have lots of play time, I need to get my increasing pile of homework and laundry done beforehand which means I should be doing that instead of blogging. Oopsie. Alright, Taylor Swift and I have a few more songs to sing together while I finish folding all the laundry before Sawyer gets up. 

Happy Fall!