July 14, 2013

As I type this I am trying to think of something else, anything else, to get my mind off how sick I feel. More specifically, how nauseous I feel. Nausea that started six days ago to be exact and has stuck around since then, every morning, noon and night. Besides a little relief if I eat every two hours on the dot, it has not subsided. But....I couldn't be more happy with how disgustingly naseous I feel because that means I am pregnant! Yep that's right I am 6 weeks 3 days right now which is a whole week past when I miscarried a few months ago and when the nausea hit I knew that was a good sign that things were progressing as they should! So when is my due date you ask? Well that's where it's going to get a little tricky because it is anywhere between March 6th and March 9th which means it is right smack in the middle of my semester, but God planned this pregnancy this time, I did not, so I am trusting that He knows best! We are scheduled for our first ultrasound for August 7th which will put me at almost 10 weeks. I'm not going to post this until then, but I wanted to write how I was feeling right now so that I don't forget.

July 22, 2013

A few days after I wrote the above post I got really, really sick. Matt's mom Carol was in town the weekend my nausea hit and that's when it was tolerable and I was able to manage it with snacks every two hours. The Monday morning she left (which is when I wrote the above post) we had a really busy week in store because Sawyer had swim lessons in the afternoon and Vacation Bible School in the evenings. I took him to swim lessons that Monday afternoon and stopped by Chevron on the way to grab some jolly ranchers to suck on, in hopes it would prevent me from throwing up while at swim lessons. I sat on a bench and watched him swim, probably looking like I was in pain, because I was trying to think of something, anything at all, to take my mind off how I needed to vomit! Bleh. Needless to say, Matt ended up taking Sawyer to Vacation Bible School that night and the next two while I laid on the couch watching tv and trying to keep down saltines.

Thursday was when it all came to a head. It was morning, I was laying on the couch moaning because I felt so sick that I thought for sure I was going to die before I made it to my ultrasound in three weeks. I knew I needed Zofran, which is the anti-nausea med I had been prescribed for Sawyer after I had lost almost 15 lbs from throwing up those first few weeks. It was a miracle drug!! It was the only thing that worked so that I could keep food down after trying sea bands, ginger, crackers, you name it. This time though, I was trying to make it to my appointment because my insurance right now is crummy and has a really high deductible so I would be paying out of pocket for my visit. As of August 1st I switch over to my school's insurance which has a much lower deductible and the out of pocket cost will go towards meeting the lower deductible so that my delivery will be mostly covered. Earlier in the week I had started taking vitamin B6 and half a Unisom tablet each morning and night, which doctors recommend for nausea. It had actually worked...for about a day. After that all it did was make me feel like a zombie because I was so tired and it no longer even touched my nausea. Anyway, that Thursday morning, I hadn't been able to keep anything down since the morning before. Not crackers, not ginger ale, not even water. I'd already made five trips to the bathroom puking up an already empty stomach and each time feeling more and more miserable. Finally I told Matt around 10 that morning that I HAD to call the doctor. It was either we pay for a visit to the doctor, or if things kept going the way that they were, with each day progressively being worst, I was for sure going to end up in the emergency room dehydrated and needing IV fluids which would be way more expensive. I called the doctor and as soon I told the receptionist I was really sick, her words of sympathy made me start bawling and couldn't even answer any of her questions, like my name and date of birth. I had to hand the phone over to Matt who proceeded to give her all the info she needed and told her my situation of needing Zofran with Sawyer and how we were trying to wait to come in until our insurance changes. She said she would relay the information to the nurse and give me a call back.

I laid on our bed anticipating her call while Sawyer laid next to me watching his millionth cartoon for the week. I waited for what felt like forever, and then the nurse called and asked me a couple questions like if I had tried B6 and Unisom (yes! It isn't working),  how long I had needed Zofran with my previous pregnancy (from about weeks 5-13 and even then would vomit occasionally until after week 20), if I had been able to eat (no! I can't even keep water down) and then she said she would need to talk to the doctor first before prescribing it to me considering they have never seen me in the office before (of which I completely understood and would have been more than willing at that point to pay for an office visit just so they could see how sick I was) and she said she would call me back. About half an hour later the nurse called back saying the doctor had approved the Zofran and out of relief I started bawling like a baby on the phone again! Thankfully I was able to give her my pharmacy information through the sobs and she said to start feeling better and she would see me in a few more weeks for my first appointment and ultrasound. Immediately, we drove to the pharmacy to wait while they got my prescription ready and while waiting I of course had to go throw up in their bathroom too, just for good measure. I had requested the sublingual Zofran tabs since they melt under your tongue, since I would have been unable to swallow an actual pill and get it to stay down. I took one before we even left the store. I could take three a day, and that evening I took my third one and was in awe at how different I felt compared to that morning! I was even able to eat a little lunch and drink some lemonade! That night, for the first time since Sunday, I was able to go with Matt to drop Sawyer off at VBS and then we went out to dinner with Matt's Aunt Rosie and Uncle Steve who recently moved to town. I was able to drink two glasses of lemonade and eat half an appetizer! Go me.

While I am grateful to be pregnant, I really am, I had completely forgotten about how sick I had been while pregnant with Sawyer. I don't even know how I was able to work through the first trimester. I started researching Hyperemesis Gravidum and am 100% certain that explains my situation. Some of the differences between regular morning sickness and Hyperemesis are:

Morning Sickness	Hyperemesis Gravidarum
You lose little if any weight.	You lose 5-20 pounds or more. (> 5% of prepregnancy weight)
Nausea and vomiting do not interfere with your ability to eat or drink enough each day.	Nausea and vomiting cause you to eat very little and get dehydrated from vomiting if not treated.
You vomit infrequently and the nausea is episodic but not severe. It may cause discomfort and misery.	You vomit often and may vomit bile or blood if not treated. Nausea is usually moderate to severe and constant.
Dietary and/or lifestyle changes are enough to help you feel better most of the time.	You will probably require fluid hydration through a vein and/or medications to stop the vomiting.
You typically will improve gradually after the first trimester, but may be a little queasy at times during the remainder of your pregnancy.	You usually feel somewhat better by mid-pregnancy, but you may continue to be nauseous and/or vomit until late pregnancy.
You will be able to work most days and care for your family.	You will likely be unable to work for weeks or months, and may need help caring for yourself.

With Sawyer I had lost 9% of my body weight before getting on Zofran. I'm shocked I didn't get dehydrated with him. I remember laying on our apartment floor, feeling like I was dying and hating the person that dubbed this horribleness "morning sickness". The first trimester is just a fog of feeling constantly miserable and throwing up and feeling like no one really understood how sick I was (besides Matt who saw me spending most of my time in the bathroom and sleeping). Once getting on Zofran though, the fog started to lift. This time, the nausea didn't seem so bad in the beginning and I thought I might be lucky this go round and not have it so bad. Then with each day (as I'm sure my HCG levels were doubling) I would feel progressively worse and started losing weight (only 5 lbs this time though before getting on Zofran).   I read that with Hyperemesis each successive pregnancy is often worse than the first and I would have to agree with that sentiment. Last week, in the midst of not being able to keep anything down and feeling constantly queasy, I told Matt that I really hope this pregnancy works out because I CANNOT be pregnant again. And I wasn't joking. I told him we would have to adopt or find a surrogate if we wanted to expand our family. I would have to say, that even now after being put on Zoran, that I still stand behind that statement. I know some people who have Hyperemesis end up being in and out of the hospital getting IV fluids, sometimes requiring a PICC line to get IV Zofran, Reglan, Phenergan or a combination of those anti-nausea meds, so in comparison I have it easy, but I honestly can't imagine going through this again.

UPDATE:
The Zofran was definitely helping, but taking it three times a day meant I was going to run out way before my appointment. Insurance only covers 24 pills at one time, taking three a day, meant they would only last 8 days! To make them last longer Matt got me some ginger capsules to take as well. When I would have breakthrough nausea a couple hours after taking the Zofran I would take a ginger capsule and then at night would take a Unisom to be able to sleep and keep the nausea at bay while sleeping. So far it seems to be working and I am now 7 weeks and 4 days. Only 16 more days until my first appointment!


July 29th, 2013

I'm now 8 weeks and 4 days and only 9 more days until my first appointment and ultrasound! I've had to take at least two Zofran a day still, a Unisom at night, and two ginger capsules in between the Zofran, which unfortunately means I will still run out of Zofran before my appointment. I tried to reschedule for an earlier time, but had no luck. Hoping the doctor will renew my prescription before they see me! Thankfully with that combo the nausea has been manageable and I've only thrown up a handful of times since going on the Zofran. I discovered that if I take a Unisom at night before bed I actually feel pretty decent in the morning until around 10 or so. The day before my birthday I felt pretty good and was able to take Sawyer to a $1 movie at the movies with my mom and then we went to Carls Junior for lunch, I was  actually able to eat my whole meal and was surprised at how good I felt. Last Wednesday though, my 29th birthday, I felt crummy again for almost the entire day. I took Sawyer to daycare (he still goes on Mondays/Wednesdays because if we took him out for the summer his daycare provider can't guarantee a spot for him in the fall) and it has been a huge blessing because I can rest, clean, or work (I have a part time job as a research assistant for a professor at my school). Matt took me out to lunch to Pad Thai House for my birthday and it was delicious and really fun to go out together in the middle of the day, that is, until my lunch all came back up afterwards ;( What a waste! Yesterday evening we were out driving around and I told Matt I needed to throw up so he pulled up to a bathroom at Sonic that I ran into. Sawyer I guess was really concerned and wanted to know if the baby was going to get dirty. Since he knows there is a baby in mommy's tummy I'm thinking he thought I was going to throw up the baby into the toilet?? Haha, it's been funny to see the wheels turning in his head about this whole baby thing. At first he kept saying that no, he does not want a baby brother or sister because he wants to be an "only kid". Now he has warmed up to the idea and said yesterday he wants a baby brother that will be named "baby brother" and he will change it's diaper. And he also wants a cat to come with it.  I think he is going to be such a good big brother, but it's strange to imagine him in that role since he has been an only child for almost four years!

I was laying by Sawyer last night and I told him that my belly is going to get really big as the baby grows and he will even be able to feel the baby moving around. I had shown him photos of when I was pregnant with him so he could see what it's going to be like. He then asked if someone we know (specifically by name) has a baby in their tummy too.  I said no (knowing exactly why he was asking and wondering how to explain it) and he replied, "but there belly is big!". Welp, technically he was right about that.....but,  I tried to explain that sometimes people just have big bellies because that's how their bodies look and they don't actually have babies in them. Now I'm really hoping he doesn't ask that in front of that someone or point to just anyone's who has a larger belly and ask if there is a baby in it!!

July 31, 2013

Yesterday was rough. Even with three Zofran I still threw up about five times throughout the afternoon and evening. Had a really hard time finding something to eat that would stay in my stomach. Finally took a Unisom around 9 and then went to bed around 10 when it kicked in. The only way to be rid of the feeling of needing to vomit is when I am sleeping so I've been doing a lot of that. Today is August 1st though, so only six more days until my appointment. And thankfully Matt noticed that I actually had one refill on my Zofran prescription so he refilled that for me yesterday. That was a huge relief to not run out before my appointment!  I was reading my journal from when I was pregnant with Sawyer and one entry said "I am 16 weeks and 4 days pregnant. I started feeling better maybe 3 weeks ago."  So I am really counting on this pregnancy to be similar and that around week 12 or 13 I will be over this awful "pregnancy flu"!!